Where’s MH370?

It’s sort of like “Where’s Waldo?” but 27 years later — Where’s Waldo was first published in 1987. In all seriousness, Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 has been missing for roughly 10 days (at this point almost 11 days if you live in Asia). How on earth do you lose a Boeing 777? That’s not a small plane. I could see possibly misplacing an CRJ-700 or an EMB-120, but a Boeing 777? The plane holds almost 270 people. Granted its not a 747 or an Airbus 380 — both hold around anywhere from 350-525 people. Those are really big planes. Anyways, I digress. The search for MH370 is still on. The CNN coverage is almost as bad as it was on June 24th for the Edward Snowden “is he or isn’t he on a plane to Russia/Venezuela” debate. That day made me despise Mr. Blitzer and everything he held dear. Today CNN broadcasted a pre-recorded interview with one of the pilot’s neighbors. WHAT ON EARTH IS THIS GUY’S NEIGHBOR GOING TO CONTRIBUTE TO THE DISCUSSION? Seriously, if you can tell me one worthwhile reason to interview this guy’s NEIGHBOR, I’ll get off CNN’s case and join the Fox News bashing party. (I don’t bash Fox News because everyone else does).

In a nutshell, MH 370 is still missing. I believe (off hand, without double checking) that 10+ countries are now involved in trying to help find this plane. Also, Boeing’s reputation is probably going to take a hit from this whole incident.

Moving on… I’m not a huge fan of doctors. They’re always trying to prescribe you crap (that you don’t necessarily need), give you flu shots, or lie to you about the severity or side effects of pills or whatever. Clearly, I need a new doctor. I know this. However, I had a decent interaction with my doctor this morning. I won’t go into details BUT this guy was not bad. I’m never totally comfortable with male doctors. They ask you personal questions and I always make really inappropriate jokes. Jokes that men //probably// should not be hearing. In any event, I’m sort of curious what kind of follow up (if any) I’m going to get. I switched up my BC today because the last one was CRAZY. I was supposed to sign some sort of consent form but I told the nurse I wanted to talk to the doctor before I did anything. I talked with the doctor. He and I both agreed that I needed a change. I still haven’t signed the consent form and I’m already at school. WOOPS. I actually forgot to sign it and on my way home I thought about it but decided that I didn’t want to go back. So let’s see what happens now.

Last but certainly not least, my friend has started a blog. For some inexplicable reason, I follow her blog. She takes pictures of her cat, Maya, and then writes about it. I did tell her that I thought she was out of her mind for doing this but since she’s my friend, I’m going to advertise her blog on here. mycatmaya.wordpress.com.

Enjoy the cat

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It’s been awhile

I was watching John Stewart a few days ago and he commented on how people are just beginning to realize that Putin is out of his mind. How did it take anyone this long to realize that? Seriously. The guy wrestles bears for publicity…. how is it NOT obvious that he’s out of his mind?

While the rest of the world catches up to that small fact, let’s move on to something else.

Yesterday in the town of Amherst, Massachusetts 73 individuals were arrested at a Blarney Blowout party. This is an unofficial party (I thought it only happened at McMurphy’s — my bad) that seems to happen at Puffton and Brandywine (two apartment complexes less than a mile away from UMass). In any event, I am proud to say that I am an alumna of this fine institution that is known more for it’s riots and parties than it’s academics and research. I can tell you all that I did not experience what their undergrads experienced. I went school, studied, and didn’t get arrested for rioting when the Bruins lost the Stanley cup or when the Red Sox didn’t make it to the World Series. My father must be so proud.

Oh! Most importantly, Kesha was released from rehab yesterday and has made some changes to her life. She has officially dropped the “$” from her name and will no longer be referred to as Ke$ha. She is going back to her birth name of Kesha. WHAT PARENT NAMES THEIR CHILD KESHA?! For those of you who don’t know, the name “Kesha” is of African origin and it means “favorite”. The name peaked in the 1970s where 79 million babies donned the name, Kesha. Lovely.

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Snapchat hurt my feelings

So this morning as I try to procrastinate I was going through my Snapchat settings and found that it tells you who your best friends are. According to Snapchat, I have no best friends. Sad faces to everyone.

On a happier note, Belarus won its first medal at the Sochi Olympics yesterday. Darya Domracheva will be taking the gold medal in “Biathlon Women’s Pursuit” back to Minsk with her in a couple of weeks when she returns to White Russia (I feel like this is offensive to say, but oh well). She is the first Belarusian woman to win gold at the Winter Olympics. Kudos to you Darya. GIRL POWER and all that jazz. 

Moving on, I’d like to make an apology to everyone reading this blog. In my last post, I incorrectly stated that Sochi was located in Siberia. In fact, Sochi is located near the Black Sea on roughly the same longitude as Chechnya. I’m American and more importantly I’m from New York, nothing west of the Hudson River really exists for me.  In case you’re interested, neither place is anywhere near Siberia. Actually, Sochi has a very mild climate (given that it’s in Russia), so I’m not really sure why people are wearing the puffy down jackets.

Back to girl power. This video (which is not safe for work) has been floating around the internet and facebook over the last few days. It’s a bit strange and it needs no explanation.

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Reason 15,478 Why I’m in Love with Vladimir Putin

The New Yorker published an article yesterday about how hotel guests in Sochi are complaining about the portraits of Putin that hang on the walls in their hotel rooms. Evidently, the hotels that were built especially for the Olympics have chosen to decorate their rooms with portraits of Putin “semi-nude” (i.e. not wearing a shirt) being a man and riding bears, horses, dragons, etc.

Seriously, how sexy is that? Yeah, I see you Mr. President.

A couple from Ohio were quoted as saying, “I did not travel thousands of miles just to be grossed out.” Seriously? Get over it. You traveled thousands of miles to see athletes compete in one of the most amazing sporting events in the world — who cares if you have a portrait of Putin hanging on your wall? Realistically, you should be watching the games live, not sitting in your room thinking about Putin.

Not one to hide his feelings, Putin has dismissed the hotel guests as “babies who cry”. Well played sir, well played. Putin also said, “These people who are complaining about what is on their walls should be grateful, at least they got one of the hotel rooms with walls.” BAM! At least you guys got walls!

On that happy note, I don’t expect the complaints about the conditions in Sochi to die down for at least another 3 or 4 days. These people are competing in Siberia, there’s nothing in Siberia. Just kidding, I have looked at a map and Sochi is not in Siberia. My bad. Or at least there wasn’t anything until a few years ago when they started building arenas and hotels for the Olympics. The International Olympic Committee chose Sochi over Pyeongchang (South Korea) and Salzburg (Austria) and I’m fairly certain that they are currently regretting this decision. It’s in Russia this year and I think this might be the last one for a while. It’s 2 weeks. People, you can handle two weeks. Anyone who wants out, I’ll trade. I’d love to be in Sochi right now.

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Well that escalated quickly…

So for those of you living in a cave, the Super Bowl was played last night at Giants’ Stadium (ok, so it was played at MetLife Stadium, but seriously no one calls it that). The Seattle Seahawks beat Peyton Manning’s Denver Broncos. Out of respect to one of my friends who is a huge Denver fan, I will not talk about the game.

I will however talk about the commercials which are almost as famous as the big event, itself. (quick question though: If you attend the super bowl, do you still see the commercials?) There were three commercials that caused somewhat of a frenzy last night: Cheerios, Chrysler, and Coca-Cola. The three “C”s, if you will.

Let’s start off with Cheerios.

The 31 second advertisement above led some poor [ex]-MSNBC employee to tweet that individuals on the right-wing would not be ok with the fact that Cheerios was advertising a bi-racial couple. After the tweet went viral, the RNC chairman issued a statement that he was banning his staff from appearing on any MSNBC shows until MSNBC issued a public apology. The tweeter got fired and MSNBC issued an apology. Don’t fret anyone — we can still see RNC staff on MSNBC. Whew.

Moving on to Chrysler:

This 2:01 minute advertisement from Chrysler offended Germany, Switzerland, and all of Asia by saying that Germany should stick to making beer, Switzerland should stick to making watches, and Asia should stick to assembling phones. Also, America should make cars. Chrysler, hold the phone. You’re owned by FIAT (Fix it again Tony) an ITALIAN car manufacturer. Your cars might be assembled in America, but true story, the parts probably aren’t. In fact, Volkswagen (a German car manufacturer — in case you can’t keep up) assembles their popular Passat model in Chattanooga, TN. I think Toyota and Nissan both have assembly plants somewhere in the southern United States, as well. Switzerland doesn’t produce cars but it’s kind of offensive that you think they should stick to making watches… HAVE YOU TRIED THEIR CHOCOLATE? Actually, have you tried America’s chocolate (Hershey)? Hershey’s chocolate is kind of disgusting and Swiss chocolate is kind of amazing. Just saying. I don’t have anything to say about the Asian crack mostly because I know that all of my cell phones were made in China. So Chrysler was kind of right about that… unless you have the Moto X.

I should probably mention that I’m not a huge Chrysler fan. They have the Chrysler 300 which is [literally] a cheap knock off of Bentley’s Flying Spur model. You drive a Chrysler, not a Bentley.

Moving on…

To Coca-Cola:

The 1:01 minute Coca-Cola advertisement is a montage of short clips of Americans (I guess) with America the Beautiful being sung in different languages in the background. What makes this commercial so popular is that “America the Beautiful” is not in America’s official language, American. For those of you scratching your heads right now, the United States does not have an official language. In any event, this commercial has caused quite a commotion and has led many people to tweet, text, and Facebook post that they will no longer be buying Coca-Cola products because what Coca-Cola did was unAmerican. Fun story: we all know that the RNC will only be providing Pepsi products [because of the Coca-Cola ban] at the 2016 convention. People were upset that “America the Beautiful” was sung in a language that was not American English, featured people that weren’t white, and, supports the growing illegal immigrant community in the United States (OK, I made that last one up but I know that someone was thinking it). In truth, had I not used closed-captioning during the Super Bowl, I would have been super confused by what was going on. I knew that the tune was “America the Beautiful” but once they switched to Spanish, I was like.. “Say what? That’s not English.” I was surprised by the multiple language changes, but it’s actually a really beautiful commercial. Kudos to you, Coca-Cola. I would exclusively drink Coca-Cola products if it weren’t for the fact that I don’t really drink soda and I grew up in the same town that the PepsiCo world headquarters is located. Barring that, I would TOTALLY be a Coca-Cola only gal.

I think what people should really be offended about is the missing polar bears and the adorable Google commercials.

Coca-Cola polar bears, we miss you.

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The dating world is a rough place

I want to give my thanks to the movie, “He’s Just Not That Into You” for teaching me when a guy is just not that into me. However, I occasionally get these curve balls (i.e. when someone says at the end of the date “It was nice to meet you” and then sends you a message saying that they would like to go out again some time) that completely confuse me! Also, there was this guy that I’ve met before at an event on campus who messaged me. I thought he was messaging me to be like, “Oh hai! I know you,” but he wasn’t. When I asked him about stuff, he was like, “Oh! I’ve met you before! That’s right!” YES SIR, YOU HAVE MET ME BEFORE. duh.

Moving on. My father came out this weekend and we went wine tasting, ate a ton of food, and went to a basketball game where we saw the Sacramento Kings bend over to the Denver Nuggets. I think Denver teams are just practicing for the Super Bowl on Sunday where the Seahawks will bend over to Peyton’s team. Go sports!

In more exciting news, I am going to Seattle for a mini-UT reunion! I’m excited — I’ve never been to Seattle before (except to drive through it on my way to Vancouver). I know I want to go to Pike’s Place. They want to hike Mount Rainier. We’re also going to watch one of them run in a 10K on Sunday. To do everything we all want to do, I am renting a car. My friend who lives there said that the car rental (for him) was going to be $85/day. After doing a quick search on Kayak, I learned that the car rental was going to be $36 for 2 days. In any event, I have reserved a car for 2 days for a total of $30. We’re getting an economy car which is supposed to a Chevy Spark (or similar). I LOVE THE CHEVY SONIC (I know that the Spark and Sonic are not the same car) so I’m hoping that they give us one of those if they have them.

If anyone has any suggestions about what to do in Seattle, you should let me know!

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A goodbye letter

A,

Karma’s a bitch. I don’t mean that in the sense that you deserve what’s coming to you — I deserved what was coming to me. Before I met you, I was dating this CRAZY guy who didn’t understand that when I broke it off, it was over. I got emails, snapchats (I can’t believe this is even an actual thing), calls, and texts basically asking me what went wrong in our relationship, why it ended, and what we could do to make it better. Although it got to the point where I officially deemed him “cray-cray” (if you will), I at least now understand where he’s coming from. I started ignoring his texts (before we broke up), I took longer to respond and when I did finally respond they were short and to the point — I made it seem like I wasn’t interested. However, I finally took the initiative and ended it. In the end he told me that he hoped there was a guy out there that I like who didn’t like me and ignored me just like I had done to him. He got his wish.

I hate myself for allowing your lack of interest to get to me. I hate that I ALWAYS text you and when you text me back YOU seem interested, you seem like YOU want to do something, you seem like YOU like me. Most of all, I hate being played. I know that I should have taken the hint weeks ago. I talked myself into continuing whatever this is/was. I defended you even though I had this feeling of doubt the whole time. You couldn’t do anything because you were sick or because you had work or because you were tired or lazy or whatever. I’m not saying that those aren’t good reasons but what I’m saying is that if you were //really// interested you would have found a way to see me or even made time for me. I know I sound crazy, but I’m not going to apologize for being myself.

I will apologize for not having the guts to send this though. Instead of confronting you, which I believe is what I should do, I’m using my blog to reveal my feelings.

Good luck.

 

So I’ve written this but I know that in approximately 10 minutes, I’ll be a dumbass and text this guy because I’m that smart.

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