Of all the people I’ve slept with…

I’m happy that I didn’t sleep with Kim Jong-un.

For those of you who are interested in North Korean politics, The Telegraph is reporting that Kim Jong-un’s ex-lover was executed by firing squad on August 20th. Hyon Song-wol, Kim Jong-un’s former ex-lover, along with 11 others were arrested on August 17th for violating North Korean pornography laws. All 12 were executed 3 days later. What’s even worse is that their families had to watch and then were sent to prison camps because they were guilty by association.

I understand that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, but seriously? Kim — although your name indicates otherwise, you’re in fact a guy. You’ve already got a smoking hot wife! Let the old one have some fun making porn, which I doubt she was doing. I don’t even want to imagine North Korean porn. Since their internet access is so limited, I’m sure it’s as awkward as some of my sexual encounters.

Anyways, The Telegraph goes on to say that it was probably Kim’s wife who pressured him into eliminating his ex-girlfriend because of her fame in North Korea (up until 12 days ago she was a famous pop-star in North Korea).

Heading a little farther west and a tad bit north, we have news of Vladimir Putin painted in lingerie. The paintings of Vladimir Putin in not his normal attire were seized by Russian police. People are upset, the museum is closed. Once again, Putin won’t let you tell your kids that gay people exist? Why on earth would you think he’d let you have a painting that shows him in a lovely tight fitting slip (awwww yeahhhh) brushing Medvedev’s hair?

That’s all for now.

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